7 Things To Consider When Choosing a Halfway House In Florida.

Addicts And Alcoholics Are Being Victimized

It’s hard for most to imagine that somehow addicts and  alcoholics are victimized.  If you have loved or do love an addict or alcoholic, you have suffered yourself, cunning lies, and bottomless manipulations.  If we are having a fortunate day with the addict we love, they are incarcerated for something minor and safe for the night.  On a bad day we are terrorized with demands, violence, threats of harm to themselves and others.  So this blog is about 7 things to consider when choosing a halfway house in Florida.

Doing Your Research

If you are the addict or alcoholic reading this,  you already know that having any say in where you get your recovery is futile.   If you are doing your research to find the right recovery residence for your loved one, then you also know there endless halfway houses all promising the same things.

Substance Abuse Is Big Business

Unfortunately, the substance abuse industry has become big business.  In some cases it is not even beneficial for the facility or institution to facilitate recovery for the addict.  Some halfway houses have become traps themselves.   There are articles after articles of scam halfway houses.

Solutions

Ok!  So what is the solution?  To be very clear this blog is about how to choose a halfway house not about if your addict/alcoholic needs a halfway house.

Number 1.  Actually talking to the facility.

Talking to the manager or owner of the halfway house is the most important part of your research.  Addiction has very low success rates.  so beware of large promises.  This is a disease of progress and not perfection.  Actually talking to the facility to discover their path and plan for success is also needed.  A facility that is vague about structure or worse uses a one size fits all “zero tolerance”, method is not what you are seeking.

Number 2 Is the addict or alcoholic compatable with the culture of the halfway house

What you are looking for is a manager or owner that will take the time to listen to the history of your disease or your loved ones disease to see if that facility is a fit.  An honest halfway house has a “culture” of its own that works well with some addicts and not others.  This where you can tell if its a trap halfway house or not.  If they just seem too eager to take your addict regardless of their history, I advise to continue the search.  Talk to the manager about transportation and location to employment.

Number 3 Are they Visible in the community?

Are they visible in the community?  Do they have recent google reviews?   Do they have an active social media page?  Why is this important?  Is it apparent that the addicts in that facility openly engage with the community of anonymous support?  Is the house accessible for tours if need be?  If anonymity is important how will they respect that?  These are all important to know.  Anonymity is important for some but a halfway house that doesn’t actively engage with the community of recovery support to celebrate successes and create connections may have something to hide.

Number 4 How long does the Average resident stay?

Ultimately the goal is independence.  An Addict or alcoholic sometimes have children to return to.  The reality of recovery is that an addict has caused themselves a lot of hurdles to overcome.  Most addicts have legal issues and financial obligations to the courts.  There is also the obstacle of getting driving privileges back as well as a vehicle.  Finding steady employment that will provide for them consistently is difficult when they have scattered work history and criminal backgrounds.  Then ultimately achieving first, last, and security for that first apartment is daunting.

A halfway house that has residents staying six months or less is likely being dishonest or has rules so stringent the addict is rooming with other addicts or worse hooking up with a significant other too quickly because of rigid house rules or worse a halfway house that is chaotic or toxic.  it is not unusual for this phase of recovery to take a couple of years, but on average transitional living should take one year to 18 months.

Number 5 Recovery Centered

Halfway houses are not substance abuse treatment centers.   The addict or alcoholic in this phase is learning to first and foremost treat their disease daily before anything else they do.  Transitional living should be centered around creating lasting habits and connections with local anonymous support groups.

Number 6 Does The Halfway House Have a Plan should an alcoholic or addict relapse?

Relapse is a part of many addicts story but with a solid foundation in the recovery community it does not have to mean “the bottom” it once meant.  It releases family members from co-dependence because now they have other addicts in recovery, a sponsor, and other service commitments that help keep them accountable.  Even better they find connection, friendship, fellowship and support that permanently changes their lives.  Does the halfway house have a “zero tolerance” stance, do they offer detox resources with an option to return, or do they offer other resources?  These are important questions to ask.

Number 7 Trust Yourself

If the halfway house you are considering working with, seems to have unusual practices or seems secretive, consider these flags.  As with any health care situation check for unusual charges for UA’s and other services.

Halfway House can be best part of Recovery

In this phase of recovery and addict or alcoholic learns to live life on life’s terms without using drugs and alcohol.  Most importantly this phase of recovery reduces the devastating loneliness that  an addict endures by going through the same struggles with others in recovery.  They are able to celebrate milestones that only another addict can appreciate and learn to laugh, love and loose the shame of the past active addiction.  addicts find support and understanding but even more they live with and see everyday the proof that living a new way of life is possible.  Hope and pride give gratitude that they didn’t give up on themselves.  They become productive members of society and give that back to other addicts still suffering.

 

 

 

Grief And Addiction

Grief And Addiction

My name is Margarida! I’m 30 years old. I have been battling addiction for 15 years. Drinking when I was about 14. I started doing pills when I was about 18 or 19 after my father passed away. That was one of the hardest things for me to ever go through. Grief and addiction were about to destroy me.

I thought Drugs Were A Solution

Drugs seemed to be the answer, instead of dealing with my grief. I then lost my mother four years later, followed by my sister 3 weeks after. Both my mother and sister were in active addiction when they passed.  More reason for me to turn to drugs instead of dealing with my grief. Masking my feeling with dope was the insane idea. Being numb was easier. I didn’t think that I could live without my family or drugs,

I Started To See The Delusion

Perhaps I was slowly committing suicide.  I think I knew I was killing myself, and in some weird way I thought that was bringing me closer to them. I didn’t want a life that didn’t have them in it.  2015 was the first time I tried getting clean.  I quit doing pills cold turkey.No methadone and no suboxone to help ease the withdrawal.  Methamphetamine was the new replacement. In my denial I thought I was successful because I wasn’t using opiates anymore. So I truly only had six months clean.

Drugs Had A Grip On Me

That’s where I completely let go. My sons father was in jail and I felt like he left. So again, I turned to drugs. This January I decided that I couldn’t take it anymore and I decided to get myself some help. With a few bad relationships a broken heart and all my grief, I still didn’t want the pain but I didn’t want more pain.  I knew I couldn’t use drugs anymore and I didn’t really want to die. So, I entered myself into a detox center in January. I relapsed shortly after in February.  Quickly, I realized my mistake and started going to AA and NA. This is the first time that I have came to the rooms of NA.

 

Sharing My Grief With Another Addict

I’m coming up on my 90-day mark. Going through the process of finding a sponsor who I can talk to and a home group has been difficult for me. I try to handle all my emotions and feelings on my own and not really talk to anyone about them. Which is part of how I ended up using in the first place. It’s a daily struggle dealing with my feelings now being sober. I’m learning to set boundaries with what I will put up with. The things I used to pay no mind to or ignore because I was using I turned a blind eye to just to get high are no onger tolerated.  Self-medicating for so long to mask and hide my feelings makes everything seem foreign.

With No Coping Skills And Zero Trust

I’m learning how to deal with them with no buffers. I’ve never really been good at expressing my feelings. I have to relearn how to express my thoughts and feelings in a healthy way. Coping with my past in a new way and not burying my feelings is a daily struggle. Learning to accept the past as the past and not resenting my past mistakes is a long process. I can’t change my past but I can create my future.

Finding Trust In Another Addict

It took me almost three months to ask someone to be my sponsor.  Someone I felt comfortable enough to talk to about personal details of my life. I’ve been doing a gratitude list every morning of what I am grateful for. Besides  just the normal waking up in the morning clean and sober, I find gratitude, Little things like having a bed to make in the morning, is a blessing. Somewhere to shower and keep my clothes is wonderful. Waking up in the morning clean is an amazing feeling. I thank my higher power every morning and every night. I took a lot for granted when I was in active addiction. So I’m learning to appreciate little things. I have really good women in my life to talk to now. Something I’m not used to it. The women here are very supportive. I was unsure about coming to a place like this. But I have been proven wrong.  I’m lucky to have the chance to connect with women and build a good support system in my life.

Stress About Stress

Stress About Stress

Great things happen when you strive to do better. I’m one of those people that worry about anything and everything. I stress about stress. But with this program I am learning to not stress about things that are out of my control.

Gratitude For Support

I am absolutely grateful for everyone in my support group. Without these ladies I do not know where I would be today. In my active addiction I had no idea what it meant to be grateful for anything. I was absolutely miserable and hating life.  My son is 4 years old and I couldn’t even enjoy my time with him. Before recovery was in the grips of destruction and I couldn’t enjoy anything. In these last 59 days I have made so much progress with the help of my support group and the house where I live.  I am beyond grateful for the owner of my house Angelique that gave me a chance to come here. I’m grateful to be able to mend friendships especially with my friend Nikki. She has been a big supporter of mine since day one.

Gratitude For My Life

I’m alive today, able to enjoy everything that’s going on in my life and for that I am grateful.  I am beyond grateful to still have my job and be able to move up in my company. I am grateful that I still have a relationship with my son, although that situation is on a rocky road, I have faith that if I keep doing the next right thing that it’ll all work out in the end. I’m grateful that I don’t have to wake up in the morning and rely on a chemical substance to get me going.  All of this would not be possible if I gave up the fight.

Choose To Be Happy

Day by day I’m learning to love this girl in the mirror. I’m learning to be grateful for every situation and make a positive out of it. Just for today I choose to be happy and love myself and stay clean. I’m better then I was yesterday, learning to treat myself better today and preparing myself for tomorrow. They said hold on, the pain ends, and I’m beginning to see that light at the end of the tunnel.  I thank the program of Narcotics Anonymous for helping become a better person every day. I am an addict. 59 days clean today with the grace of God.

Grateful addict in recovery, Lauren

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Maintaining Balance

Balance In Recovery

My name is Lauren. I’m an addict I have been clean for a little over five months. Every day is blessing. But Sometimes it’s hard maintaining balance in recovery. Between meetings, sponsor, relationship, my son and work. And sometimes it gets a little frustrating for me.

Meetings Are A Must

Right now I work a little over forty hours a week and my schedule varies each week, even between closing opening and mid shifts.  Sometimes I’m worn out, but that’s what being a mother is about. And if I want to stay clean I have to keep going to these meetings.  I get my son on days that I’m off, so I’m able to bring him to day care the next morning. On those days I also try to make a meeting whether I take him with me or not.

Balance In A Relationship

Now with my relationship and both of our schedules there’s not much time for us to hang out, usually it’s just once a week and that gets stressful. Sometimes I put other things off to be able to do what I need to do. I have put off meetings, but I have also put off time with him as well.

Here and Healthy

It’s all boils down to the fact that I have to maintain the balance. My recovery comes first, and also being a mother. If I don’t have recovery I’ll lose everything else, and today I know that. So my focus now is maintaining balance, no matter what. I’m grateful to even have this choice today. By the grace of god and the program I’m glad that I’m here and healthy.

Grateful recovering addict, Lauren

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