Work Through Everything
My name is Lauren and I am an addict. I have been clean and sober for almost ten months. This time around I chose to do things differently. I have been in and out of the rooms for years now, and never quite understood why I kept going back out. Especially, when I would have some time clean and things were going good for me. To do things differently, this time around I took a long hard look at what was missing. It was quite simple, Self Work. Work through everything. Feelings, and why I was feeling the way I was, in pain. Why was I trying to mask it instead of allowing the feelings in order to start to heal. To heal from the trauma I went I experienced in my life. Trauma I didn’t want to talk about or even face, and especially share with others.
Fearless Moral Inventory of Myself
I needed to completely surrender to the program. I needed to let go of my reservations. I needed to believe and trust in a power greater then myself to help guide me in my recovery. I needed to become humble and be open to suggestions. I needed to open up and talk about what I was truly feeling, and what was going on instead of bottling it up. Right now I am working through my step four. This requires me to make a searching a fearless moral inventory of myself. A big important part of my recovery. The part where I dig deep and face all the things I have been trying to bury for so long. The understanding of myself, and why I don’t want to feel the emotions that come with the pain I have gone through. This is when and where I Get To work through everything!
Love Myself Again
I have made some really drastic changes in my life, and have yet to make more. But I have come so far from where I once was, and that I don’t take for granted. I remain humble, and keep reminding myself from where I came. These steps are helping me love myself again. These steps are helping me to get to know who Lauren is, the girl I’ve tried to escape from for so long. No more short cuts, or half attempts. Yes, the elevator is out of service and I will be taking the steps.
Grateful addict, Lauren