Fresh Out Of Detox
Here I sit fresh from detox once again. I swear this seems to be the story of my life @ least for the past 11 yrs. For some reason I just could not get this shit right being “sober” that is. Honestly I’ve been getting high since I was 14 years old so-20 years. I’ve also felt like getting high was the norm for me and being sober was not the norm. I’ve never been able to put a couple days together let alone a week unless I was in jail or in some sort of detox or rehab. Pretty sad yeah I already know.
No Where To Go But Up
Yes I am one sick twisted person. My disease some how gets the best of me every freaking time. I hate the fact that it has controlled me for so many years. As any addict knows its there for you when know one else is just wanting to fuck up your life over and over again. I’ve lost and damaged so much because of my disease that there is NO where to go but up from here.I know in order to repair what I have damaged in my life I must remain sober and become able to stand on my own to feet. I`m not gonna lie I haven’t been able to do that in a long time.
Living A Nightmare
I’ve tried to get sober for several years now but for all the wrong reasons. Weather it be for my family, relationship,work or just not wanting to be dope sick. Every time something just did not clicked. First off I did go to meeting but I didn’t get a sponsor and I didn’t work the steps. Also my obsession to use was always there and it over powered my want to stay clean. I fell flat on my face every time, and I know the mistakes I’ve made. I mean I’ve been living this nightmare that I just cant wake up from. Literally going to detox every 6 months, its pathetic.
Grateful For Another Chance
With all that being said I’ve got 11 days clean and fresh outta detox here I am. For the first time shit finally has been working out for the best. I’ve been blessed to have the opportunity to get a bed at the Da Vinci home which I couldn’t be more grateful for. I could not be surrounded by a more positive group of chicks who all want and have the same thing i’m looking for and so desperately need in my life. I need sobriety in my life. This i know! for today my obsession to use is gone and everyday i make a conscious decision to stay clean and take the steps i need for me to remain clean. Today i am so grateful words can’t even explain. Today i have faith in my recovery.