Definitely An Addict
Hey Guys! My names Amy I’m 28 years old and I am definitely an addict. My clean date is September 26, 2016.
A Lot Has Changed For Me
A lot has changed for me in just 6 short weeks. It took the first couple of weeks to get out of the detox stage and to start being myself again. I had about ten and a half months clean last year and had never felt happier.
What I Didn’t Realize
What I didn’t realize at the time was that I was holding on to old ideas and to reservations that inevitably brought me back out and threw away any happiness I had. I tried to live the unmanageable lifestyle of active addiction. Within a week of relapsing I overdosed on heroin.
I Survived, Thanks To My Higher Power
Thanks to reasons unknown to me but known to my Higher Power I survived. It took an additional 4 months of misery before I said enough is enough and made a decision to get clean again. At that point I was no longer jonesing for drugs and alcohol but I was jonesing to have that awesome way of life again, that I had known last year .
I Started Feinding For A New Way Of Life
I was feinding to be happy, joyous, and free. Today I wake up every morning so grateful to not have to be dope sick or rely on something or someone to get me through the day. I have a sponsor who has a sponsor , I’m working a program, and am going to a meeting a day right now. I am absolutely grateful to have the support system and women in my life that I do.
Feeling a Part OF in a Transitional Home
The transitional house I live in is so amazing because I know I never have to face a difficulty alone and I’m with other women who are working toward the same goal as me. I’ve never felt so much a part OF before.
No Matter What I Seek My Higher Power
Every day for me is not sunshine and rainbows. I’m facing difficulties with loved ones in my life who use, people at my job who use, and issues with me trying to grow as a young woman and not knowing how that will change relationships in my life. No matter what though, I know if I seek him, my Higher Power will be with me every step of the way.
As an owner of a home for sober living or a recovery house, often my clients will go through moments of what I call cabin fever.
In early recovery there is so much an addict must face. Most have legal issues from Child protective service or actual criminal cases. In addition, a whole way of life has been given up. We often say that,
The only thing that has to change is everything.
But this often leaves my clients feeling restless, irritable, discontent and bored. Mostly in a support group we teach each other new coping skills such as,
Move a muscle change a thought
But when I hear a steady trend, I try to guide it, not kill it. The video above is the second tattoo party held at Da Vinci Home. The first was such a great success, we did it again.
I guide it as best I can. Two weeks before the party, they show and share with one another a small tattoo idea they have, and discuss how much it will cost. There is no rush because we will certainly have another party. Importantly what they are choosing to have put on their bodies permanently is discussed and guided by their support as well as their finances.
Then of course we choose an artist that is trust worthy and uses safe practices. We make food and generally enjoy the day even if a tattoo isn’t in the cards for everyone.
Also it is a way to unify everyone to do something fun even those who can not par-take in outside events due to community control or other reasons.
I truly love what I do. Allowing the girls to have a break from the grieving they are doing, from letting go of so much to have a new life in recovery, is a small but blessed moment.
It may be unconventional for sober living and tattoos, but there was nothing conventional about having a sober home in the first place.
Who is a sponsor?
A sponsor is someone I can confide in, that I trust talking to, that I can be completely honest with. Someone that will help guide me through these steps because I know I can’t do them by myself, some confuse the hell out of me. Usually I’m nervous about picking up the phone but. I look forward top calling my sponsor. I want that happiness that she has and to have a strong recovery like her. Call me out on my shit and not sugar coat shit. Sponsorship is a corner stone to my recovery.
What does a sponsor do?
First of all they share there experience, strength and hope. Call me out on my shit, help guide me through the twelve steps, the 12 traditions and things 12 concepts. Help me get out of myself.
What does a sponsee do?
Listen and take suggestions with an open mind. I rely on my her to give me a general direction and a new perspective if nothing else, she’s am important sounding board. Sometimes all it takes is saying something out loud top someone else for me to see things differently. Like the other day I was going through some shit and I called my sponsor and she told me it’s building my character. That helped and opened my eyes to see things differently.
How do we get a sponsor?
We ask someone that we like their recovery. I looked for someone honest, open minced and i felt comfortable talking to. In the meetings I watched and listened to what she had to say. And, I looked for someone I connected with and I look forward to getting to know her better and build a relationship with her.
When should we get a sponsor?
This time I wanted top get a sponsor right away. I’m excited to work the steps and learn new things. So I watched her recovery, how she was on the outside of meetings, last time in recovery I went through 3 sponsors and I didn’t put much into the steps. One sponsor I picked because I thought she was hot, one relapsed on me and the other one had too many commitments was never there for me or answered the phone.
So that’s how I did it and I know the ones before weren’t meant to be. One day being a sponsor to another addict will continue my own recovery. That is what sponsorship is about.
Balance In Recovery
My name is Lauren. I’m an addict I have been clean for a little over five months. Every day is blessing. But Sometimes it’s hard maintaining balance in recovery. Between meetings, sponsor, relationship, my son and work. And sometimes it gets a little frustrating for me.
Meetings Are A Must
Right now I work a little over forty hours a week and my schedule varies each week, even between closing opening and mid shifts. Sometimes I’m worn out, but that’s what being a mother is about. And if I want to stay clean I have to keep going to these meetings. I get my son on days that I’m off, so I’m able to bring him to day care the next morning. On those days I also try to make a meeting whether I take him with me or not.
Balance In A Relationship
Now with my relationship and both of our schedules there’s not much time for us to hang out, usually it’s just once a week and that gets stressful. Sometimes I put other things off to be able to do what I need to do. I have put off meetings, but I have also put off time with him as well.
Here and Healthy
It’s all boils down to the fact that I have to maintain the balance. My recovery comes first, and also being a mother. If I don’t have recovery I’ll lose everything else, and today I know that. So my focus now is maintaining balance, no matter what. I’m grateful to even have this choice today. By the grace of god and the program I’m glad that I’m here and healthy.
Grateful recovering addict, Lauren