Treatment Center And My Journey
A treatment center was where the start of my journey into recovery. My journey of recovery began back in 2005. This is when I was arrested for possession. This charge for possession landed me in drug court. They started me off by going through outpatient treatment. But my addiction was much more powerful than the outpatient treatment I was receiving. There wasn’t a chance I could stay sober in outpatient. I failed many drug tests, and missed my classes. So the courts ordered me to inpatient treatment. And, I had to sit in jail while I waited for a bed.
My Release To Inpatient
My name was called on June 1st 2005, and I was released to a treatment center in Pinellas County. The treatment center came to pick me up. The next six month I would be at this inpatient treatment center. I remember clearly my first meeting with my counselor, and telling him there’s no way I would be able to finish this program. I’ve never done anything good in my life. Until then, I wasn’t a good daughter, a good sister or a good mother. I couldn’t hold down a job or even keep a friend at this point. He had way more faith in me than I ever had.
I knew the only reason why I was there. Because I was court-ordered, and if I were to run away I was going to end up in prison. So I gave this recovery stuff a shot. I remember feeling extremely uncomfortable around other people. I wasn’t in touch with my feelings or emotions. Not one little bit! I didn’t even trust my own thoughts about how I was feeling. Why? Because I had not been clean for six years at this point. In other words, I didn’t know how to laugh, or cry sometimes. We were in groups from 8 a.m. till 4 p.m. everyday. One group per hour.
Let The Healing Begin
Each group had a purpose. I had never been in treatment center before. So, I was not really aware of the healing I was getting ready to go through. I was with the same people day after day. There must have been thirty of us. Some of us would go, but there would always be another to fill that chair. We grew very close during our groups. Every Tuesday there would be a graduation for those who completed their 6-month successfully. I knew I wouldn’t make it to my graduation. But each day I wanted it more and more, and I continued going to groups.
Let The Healing Continue
I continued sharing with others and working through my tears, insecurities and fears. And, I started to change a little bit. I remember looking in the mirror one day and realizing I do like that that person looking back. These groups and this treatment stuff was really starting to work. I went through anger, fear, laughter and doubt. Sometimes I would go through all of those feelings in just one day. It would become exhausting because I would make things a lot harder on myself than I should have.
My Treatment Center Graduation
Then my day came! On November 28th 2005 it was another graduation day. It was my graduation day. By the way, it wasn’t just me there. So was my grandmother and a few friends who were very proud of me. I never had that before. My grandmother even stood up and told the world she was happy and proud to call me her granddaughter. I did make it!