Time To Change And Move Forward
The time to change and move forward has come. I first started coming into the rooms about 7 year ago. I honestly just did not get it. All I kept hearing is “get a sponsor,” it works if you work it.” I knew it worked for everyone else, but I would stay clean for 30 days here, 60 days there. What I was doing wasn’t working for me, and nothing changes if nothing changes.
Same Results
Looking back on it, I now know I was just dry. I would not consume alcohol or drugs for short periods of time. But drinking or using would constantly be on my mind. I would even get excited in my head when I would plan out when I was going to drink and how much fun I am going to have. Of course it never ended up being fun, and consequently I always ended up back in jail or baker acted.
A New Time In My Recovery
I noticed too that my relapses would get worse and worse as I get older. This is the first time in my recovery history where I am free of that mental obsession. That obsession to use, and it feels absolutely amazing!
Step Four And Secrets
I just completed step four and it is such a relief to get everything off of my chest. To share things with my sponsor that I thought I would take to my grave with me. I was able to talk about these secrets that were ultimately keeping me sick. From just doing that step, I feel like a completely different person.
A Bright Future
I am no longer embarrassed about everything I have done in my past, in order to grow as a person I cannot hold on to the things that I have done. I cannot dwell on the past. There is nothing I can do to change it. But I can determine my future, and with step 4 I can tell it is going to be a good one!
~anonymous