Where My Loyalties Lie
In recovery, I rarely question where my loyalties lie. They lie with my loved ones, my family, my support group, my friends, my employer. I can say I am a woman of integrity today. But there come times when I am forced to face hard truths. Just because I am not speaking a lie out loud doesn’t mean that I’m not withholding pertinent information from people, and by people I mean those who actually give a shit about me.
Loyalty To Myself
Sometimes I forget that my loyalties need to lie with myself too. I can’t throw myself in front of a bus to protect someone else. And recently I have found myself in a situation reflecting that. As okay as I might have been at the moment it doesn’t mean that it isn’t risky.
Human In My Recovery
When you love someone and they relapse you’re typically faced with two options: stick by their side or cut them off, the old fight or flight. When I found myself in that position it was easy for me to justify the fact that it is not my story to share. Simply because I didn’t want to face the judgement from those around me. But, the truth is everything always come out in the wash and I get to points in my recovery that I forget that. And that doesn’t mean I don’t have recovery, it means that I am human.
I am not perfect. But today I have the willingness to learn from my mistakes. And with that willingness growth can and will continue.
~Samantha