Pretty Rough Week

I’m trying best to keep it together, but sometimes I wish I could just fall apart and cry. The weird thing is, I can’t. I can’t become this emotional wreck even though I want to. It’s almost as if myself is trying to save me from myself. I don’t know.

My life as of late, has become a series of unplanned and unfortunate events. From the deep shit of my parents breaking up, to me moving out of my only place of sanity, my bedroom. Nothing but bullshit.

I can’t seem to catch a break. To be able to reel myself in.  And I can’t seem to stop resenting the people around me who are full of toxicity.  Today, my concern is not that I will slip up and use.  And an additional concern is my mental health. As I try and distance myself from the negativity around me, I find myself more alone with my thoughts. And that’s something I’ve always hated…being alone.

I know I’m gonna continue to push through this, to adapt, and to grow.  However that doesn’t mean it doesn’t suck right now. I know everyday wont be my best day, but I’m gonna continue to search for the light, and find some beauty in the darkness. Because in the end, what’s the day without a little night? You can’t get to it unless you go through it.

Kaylee