I Feel Like Something Is Missing

So my life is really good today. I’m still living at the Da Vinci Home with Angie and an amazing group of women here, I have a great job that I actually enjoy going to, and I have a wonderful boyfriend who loves me dearly… Yet I still feel alone and empty. Everything is going great in my life right now, and I should be enjoying it, but only to a certain extent. I still just can’t help but feel like something is missing. There’s a lot of work to do on myself which is probably a big part of my void. I’ve been clean and sober for almost 7 months now and still haven’t started my step work. I guess part of it is that I’m just scared of what I’m going to find out about myself.

I went to NJ for Christmas to my sister’s house to spend the week there. We hadn’t seen each other in over 2 years. It was so exciting seeing her and my neices and nephew. We had a really great time together and I honestly can’t wait to do it again! I have lost so much of my family. I never had a Dad growing up, my mom died at the very young age of 51 when I was just 27, my Grandma who I was extremely close to passed away a few years ago, my aunt and uncle who I used to be very close with, along with my cousins choose not to be associated with me due to my addiction, as well as my only son Shawn. So my only family is my sister and her children, which is fine. I love them very much and they are all very proud of how well I’m doing today and how far I’ve come.

My relationship with my sister is probably better today than it’s ever been and I am so grateful! I know it’s about time to start some serious work on myself with the help from my sponsor. I do know one thing for sure, I’m right where I belong today! My life is far from perfect, but it’s perfect for me right now. I’m gonna try some step work soon, so hang tight and I’ll let ya know how that works out for me! To be continued…..

Me, Myself, & I, Jen

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