Rebuilding Relationships in Recovery
I am an addict. And, like any addict I am stubborn and want to do things my way. However, my way and my will has gotten me nowhere except frustrated, let down, and discouraged. Like they say in recovery, let go and let your Higher Power guide you. Letting go also comes with taking suggestions, which is not such a bad thing. And, that’s exactly what I have been doing. I’m now getting a lot of things back in recovery and it feels good. It’s giving me more confidence, and self-esteem. Today I am being blessed with new relationships and with the opportunity to begin rebuilding the damaged relationships.
A Big First
So, I am going on a date. Sounds simple, but this is an over night date for the first time in recovery. I am nervous as hell! I know why; it’s been a long time since I have had sex with someone while being completely clean and sober. I feel silly being nervous,but it’s a big step for me. This is a big first for me in recovery, and I just want it to be perfect. Yes, although I know Perfection is not reality I just want it to go smoothly. Most important though is I am excited to have another positive experience in recovery.
Co-parenting
I am even beginning to have an adult relationship with my ex-husband. We are able to talk about me having visitation unsupervised with my daughter. Just the idea of this possibility is a blessing I’ve received because of working my recovery. I spoke with other women in recovery, and took suggestions. I backed off pressing this communication with him. Instead of taking my will, I let things fall into place and they did! Six months ago my daughter would barely talk to me. Through suggestions I learned to back off and let the relationship develop naturally, instead of trying to push relationship, which is what I was doing. And what happened was absolutely wonderful. I was able to see my daughter get braces yesterday, because she asked me to be there. She wanted me to be a part of this milestone in her life.
No Matter What
It is so much easier to listen, take suggestions, and to be in the present. To allow my recovery to come first, and see what it can do for me, for my daughter; the important relationships. It is amazing the gifts I am starting receive, the best one though is my believing in myself. The confidence I have gained from staying in the program no matter what!
-anonymous