Spiritual Awakening

After coming back from a relapse November 1, 2017, I had a spiritual awakening while in a home group meeting.  We were reading Step 1 and I realized, like it was a total Epiphany that I never worked my first Step honestly and openly with myself or a sponsor!!  I was introduced to AA back in 2006, and have previously worked the steps in “AA” and had some time in previous years, but I always relapsed eventually.  I realize now, after being introduced to “NA” this time and working my first step in the “NA “Step Working Guide with my sponsor that I, for the first time in recover, finally worked an honest and thorough first step!!  It just took me eleven years to recognize.

The program and my support group have always told me to “Thine own-self be true”.  I never understood the full meaning until working my first step in “NA”.  Honesty, the first principle is of utmost importance in my recovery and I always believed it was about being honest with others. I never realized the only person when I was using and tied into all my web of lies, that I was not being truly honest with myself and my Higher Power!  I had never previously worked a truly honest program.

Today, it is so freeing to be able to recognize and be honest with myself, my Higher Power, and others! I am able to look in the mirror today and like who I see.  I was never able to do that before, I always hated myself.  Today I have begun the journey of loving myself and am so grateful for this gift of recovery!!

Stacy