Something Good In Every Day

Not Every day is good but there is something good in every day.  The past two weeks have been rough.  I felt pain for the first time in my recovery and dealing with all those feelings has been difficult.

My sponsor had me write a letter. It was a resentment letter she wanted me to write before I started working step 4.  Then my girlfriend just broke up with me at the same time. So I felt like I was losing two things at once.  The break up, I’m still taking pretty hard because I really love this girl and I don’t know how to be just her friend.

It’s fucking hard.  She’s so back and forth with her emotions towards me its really confusing. My sponsor says this is all happening for a reason and my higher power is protecting me from something. I just need to have faith and trust the process. Which I do trust the process, I just want to know the reason now.

Life Turned Around

My sponsor also said that being on step 4 and this going on at the same time, I’m right where I need to be. Pain is growth. Recovery is amazing. My life has turned around the past 4 months. I went from being this hopeless broken soul, junkie, and a self centered asshole. To a good person, with a huge heart. Today I am also honest and I have compassion for people. Full with hope and faith today. I do good for others and lift people up instead of breaking them down. Everyday when I wake up I say the third step prayer ask for guidance and ask my higher power to help me be a better person than I was yesterday. And I remind myself not every day is good but there is something good in every day.

One Day At A Time

Just one day at a time trying to be a better person and recover. I love the life I live today as i live it! I just got a puppy to he’s adorable! This Friday I’m chairing at my home group. Its exciting and giving me a little anxiety talking in front of all those people. I just started a new job that’s going good and I’ll be on my own crew soon with another recovering addict and he and I work well together. He has the energy and I have the determination and motivation. Life is great today and I’m so grateful to be alive. I’m proud of where I’m at today and free from active addiction. Everyday is not good but there’s something good in everyday!  I am an addict. Today I have 125 days clean.