Finding Myself In Recovery

Monday, October 23, 2017

So this is my second blog since I’ve been here and many changes have taken place. People have come and gone, people have relapsed, have gone back to detox, and so many different personalities in the house. I feel like at this point I’m still trying to “find myself.” I’m working a part time job at Dollar Tree which I enjoy, but don’t really want to be here long term. I’m still looking for my ideal job, something that I can stay at long term. Realistically I don’t think that will happen for a while. Only because I don’t feel like my mind is right yet. After using drugs and alcohol for such a long time it will take some time for me to feel “normal” again. I seem to forget things very often and I have trouble remembering.

Angie, here at DaVinci has been really amazing. She’s been dealing with so much in and outside of the house, and has been so patient with me being behind on my rent. I pay what I can when I get paid and hopefully will be working another job soon so that I can get caught up with my back rent still owed. Through this all, I know that she’s always here for me which is a feeling I haven’t felt in such a long time.

Having a stable job I think rarely happens right away when you first get clean and sober. I’ve gone through two already, and on my third job now. Which means there were some gaps that I was out of work completely until I found something else.

I did finally get a sponsor after about 6 weeks being here. She’s a wonderful woman and has been giving me assignments periodically. I’ve done some writing and have been reading over the steps thoroughly. Starting to write about the steps has been a scary thought to me. As I read them, I get a lot of memories and thoughts in my head. Some that I don’t want to remember let alone write about. I know it’s obviously in my best interest to start. I will let you know how the process goes in my next blog! That’s all for now.

Just Me, Myself, & I Jen