Category: Uncategorized

Recovery Life Check In

Recovery Life Check In

I’m just checking in with my recovery life.  The way my life is going right now I wouldn’t change for the world. When I choose to look at the positive rather then the negative my whole mindset changes. Not everyday is all rainbows and ponies but everyday clean is better then any day I had using. I have been going through a situation with my son’s father and I was recently served child support papers. My first thought was to retaliate but then I prayed about it and put it in my higher powers hands. I am still waiting to see where we are going to go from here but I am no longer stressing about it.

On A Good Note

On a good note I have gained a lot of friendships lately and have friends here that I’m able to talk to when I can’t reach my sponsor. Today I have best friends that are women.  Never did I think I would befriend a woman again after my best friend passed. I have people that truly care about me and sincerely ask how my day is and know when I need to someone to talk to verses needing to just be alone.

My Life Is Amazing

I’m working two jobs but my schedules haven’t been clashing to much lately, because I asked for some leeway.  My request was to not to be scheduled crazy closing shifts since I have to be up early to open. Right now I don’t see my son as much as I would like but in time things are going to change. My life is amazing and I couldn’t do it without NA my support group and my friends who have turned into family.  I am an addict.  And I have been clean for a little over seven months now.

Grateful recovering addict , Lauren

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What Unmanageable Means

What Unmanageable means

Congrats! First of all, pat yourself on the back for making it this far to read the blogs. There’s always something to be found in the message shared by others.  Now I want to Share what unmanageable means..

My life this week, and of course in the years passed, have been unmanageable. The thing is understanding what unmanageable means, and actually looking up the definition can be very different or eye opening. My sponsor asked me to define some terms related to recovery this past week, and Unmanageable was one of them.

I To Understand Better

When I looked up the definition, I wasn’t satisfied with what was provided. The definition I found was: unruly, wild. So, being the addict I am, I wanted more; at least this was a healthy behavior or action today. So, I decided to look at synonyms for the word unmanageable, and what I found was almost scary in a sense, but so true and on point for where my life was, past and present. I am going to share with you these synonyms: Awkward, Berserk, Chaotic, Crazy, Disobedient, Disorderly, Hysterical, Lawless, Madcap, Nuts, Out of Control, Outrageous, Riotous, Rowdy, Turbulent, Unbridled, Uncontrollable, Uncontrolled, Undisciplined, Ungovernable, Unrestrained, Violent.

This Was My Life 

Wow! This is my life, this is what I have been for the past four years of my life. It’s beyond what just our every day definition of unmanageable means. Yes, chaotic, disorderly, rowdy, turbulent. But, no it’s been so much more than that. It has been Disobedient, Lawless, Madcap, Riotous, Undisciplined, Ungovernable, Unrestrained, and most of all scary but true is Violent.

We Deserve Peace 

Second, the message I want you, who ever you are, to understand is, don’t wait until all of these terms apply to the unmanageability in your life. You are worth more, you are more than these terms. You deserve to know that there are places, and people to help you. There are places and people who will love you, be there for you, even if you don’t see that worth yet yourself. Let them be there for you until you do see you are worth more, and deserve more. We all deserve Peace, Serenity, Happiness and Healthy Love in our lives every day!

Come Journey

This place for me is Da Vinci Home. I have found these things and more here. I have found a new family! Come join us in your journey!
 
Lissi

 

I Need To Remain Humble

I Need To Remain Humble

Remaining humble was a constant reminder to me this past week.  Humble enough to ask for help, to seek help and to accept help. Through God’s grace, I was blessed with a moment of clarity that allowed me another fresh start. The gratitude that comes along with coming to this realization is insurmountable.

Past Knowledge, Does Not Equal Today’s Recovery

Although I find it extremely difficult, I continue to walk through life as a woman of integrity, to the best of my ability. Still within the fog, I am beginning to notice how integral it is to remain humble. I easily confuse my past knowledge when choosing to take action today. However, it has become increasingly obvious that all of that past knowledge does not bring much to avail. This is why change is so important.  Without change we will continue to get the same results, and that is not acceptable.  Through this process I continue to have faith, although at times it is painful because growth only comes with time and dedication. Dedication to remain honest with my work in recovery.  I pray that, God willing, I can continue this positive path of recovery.

Humbly yours,

Sammantha

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Pretty Rough Week

Pretty Rough Week

So this week has been pretty rough for me. I have so much going on, and so much tough, rough, real life shit I’m dealing with that it’s hard to comprehend all of it.

Keep It Together

I’m trying best to keep it together, but sometimes I wish I could just fall apart and cry. The weird thing is, I can’t. I can’t become this emotional wreck even though I want to. It’s almost as if myself is trying to save me from myself. I don’t know.

Life Happens

My life as of late, has become a series of unplanned and unfortunate events. From the deep shit of my parents breaking up, to me moving out of my only place of sanity, my bedroom. Nothing but bullshit.

Finding Myself Alone

I can’t seem to catch a break. To be able to reel myself in.  And I can’t seem to stop resenting the people around me who are full of toxicity.  Today, my concern is not that I will slip up and use.  And an additional concern is my mental health. As I try and distance myself from the negativity around me, I find myself more alone with my thoughts. And that’s something I’ve always hated…being alone.

Continue To Search

I know I’m gonna continue to push through this, to adapt, and to grow.  However that doesn’t mean it doesn’t suck right now. I know everyday wont be my best day, but I’m gonna continue to search for the light, and find some beauty in the darkness. Because in the end, what’s the day without a little night? You can’t get to it unless you go through it.
Kaylee

New To A Halfway House

New To A Halfway House

I was brand new to a halfway house upon my discharge from the ISU detox at BayCare.   Being greeted by Angie’s ✨gleaming smile & copious amount of positivity✨ was wonderful.  That was my first sign that I was going to be alright.

Welcomed

I was nervous because I have never lived in a halfway house and pulling up to the Da Vinci Home scared the crap out of me. I guess because of fear of change, being the new girl, the unknown, my own personal worries and such.  Yet everyone welcomed me with big hugs and kind words of reassurance.

Pushing Through

Although my first week at the house was FILLED with MULTIPLE tests of my own strength & willpower, I am ELATED to say, despite those voices inside me, the one’s telling me to run away…to run as fast & as far as i could…I HAVE SURVIVED. As my second week comes to a close I’M FEELING MORE WELCOMED AT DA VINCI THAN EVER!  All is FANTASTIC now!
Shannon