Today I Have Recovery
My names Nikki I’m an addict. Today I have 173 days clean. I’m so close to my 6 months. I’m so fucking proud of myself and how far I’ve come and how my life has changed. This isn’t the longest clean time I’ve ever accumulated but today I have recovery and I’ve learned its not about the clean time you have, its the recovery you have to go with that clean time. Today I have recovery.
Test To My Recovery
This week has been a little testing to my recovery. We had a couple people relapse in the house and I feel like I’ve been like holding my recovery close to me all week long. There was no desire to use drugs, thank god, it just really bothered me because I got clean for a reason and I don’t want to be around that people are high. My choice today is to surround myself with people that are clean and in recovery.
Relapse Happens
Relapse is apart of people’s stories and living in a place like I do, it’s going to happen. I’m just glad it got resolved. One person we took to detox and I hope she changes her life around because I want everyone to live the amazing life I live today and I do care about her and the other one. The other girl that relapsed, someone else and I called her out. I hope by us calling her out she identifies the cause of her relapse and can change whatever it was that made her go back out.
Attraction Rather Than Promotion
I know I can’t save anyone and I know I’m only in control of my own recovery.All I can do is lead by example, give my experience,strength and hope and keep working on myself. They say its attraction not promotion. So if I keep working on myself and becoming the best person I can be everyday, hopefully someone will see the changes in me and want that for themselves.
I Continue On
My dad goes for his prostate biopsy on Friday I’m a little scared about that because he might have prostate cancer. I’m more worried than he is. I need to have more faith and just keep praying about it. I got in a new relationship recently, things are going really well with her. She’s just so different than anyone I’ve ever been with. Time to get ready for my day. I’m so grateful for the life I live today. Today I have Recovery.
Trust your struggle, the best is yet to come.