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Step Three in Recovery

Close Minded to Step Work

My name is Lauren and I am an addict. I have been clean for almost 9 months. My commitment to recovery has been what has saved my ass for the last 9 months. In the beginning I was so close minded, especially towards my step work. I always wondered how writing down everything would to help me in my recovery. But as I continue working the steps, I have realized that my step work is crucial to my recovery.

Working Step Three

I just finished up three and I’m going on to step four.  For me this time I’ve been able to honestly work the steps and dig deep. The spiritual principles that I’ve had to practice mainly our honesty open-mindedness and willingness. But the biggest one which entails step three is commitment. Step work is absolutely crucial to my recovery, but there are other things that I also need to do to maintain my commitment to recovery.

Service Commitments

One of those is service work. I always make sure I pick up a service commitment within my home group. My last commandment was giving out key tags.  This month my commitment is to chair the meeting. Picking up a commitment like that keeps my butt in check, and it also makes me feel a part of something bigger.  Something outside of myself. I’ve also talked to my sponsor and she feels as if I should pick up a commitment outside my home group as well. So the next couple months I’m going to try to go into the detox and speak with other addicts that are trying to get clean. I’ve been through a lot and my story may help someone else. Talking about my Experience, Strength and Hope may just save the life of another addict as it did mine when I heard somebody else.

Turn My Will Over

My recovery is everything to me, and I have to stay humble because everything that I have gotten back and everything I have learned has been because I chose to put my recovery first. So I know that anything that goes before my recovery I will lose. I have things going on in my life, but I turn my will over to my Higher Power and ask for guidance for help with these things that are out of my control, and I know things will be okay when they are supposed to be. My life is a journey and I’m glad I get to experience it clean.

Grateful recovering addict, Lauren.

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How To Have Spirituality In Recovery

How To Have Spirituality In Recovery

     I can’t say that I’m some guru in spirituality  or expert on religion by any means. In fact I’d go as far as to say that I’m still very much so a novice. Which I hope this doesn’t make me sounds like I’m coming to summit on Mt stupid. I’ll try and keep my opinions strictly to what I have found in my recent endeavors into spiritually.  And this is how to have spirituality in recovery.  This seems to be a bit of an overwhelming maybe ambitious statement.
Spirituality in recovery
I’m still a novice, so I hope this doesn’t sound like I’m coming to summit on mount stupid.

I believe that spirituality is actually a very easy thing to find. My belief is you actually have to go out of your way to ignore it. From a very early age we are subjected to spiritual teachings in the form of religion. Which for many actually turns into a sore topic. I myself have gone through my “Agnostic/Atheist” phases.

Becoming More Open Minded

For me religion at first was a huge turn off, so when I decided to work on my spiritual self, I went to build a god work shop. I picked and pulled from different religions to figure out which best fit me. I could easily write off some religions as wrong or some religions were just “too far out there” for me. After dabbling, reading, and practicing I found myself subscribing to more and more. Eventually I realized that I was just simply becoming more open minded. Then I came to this realization, There is no right or wrong religion as long as those religions follow spiritual principles. You’ll find that most religions actually over lap in many ways. Its just different ways to practice these spiritual principles. Most every religion has the “gold rule.”

Do Not Look For Spirituality In Material Things

Spirituality, this is a difficult thing to describe. Abstract, foreign, alien? Spirituality for me is the thing that fills the void. We’re constantly sold the narrative that “money can’t buy you happiness.” So if material things can’t make me happy what can? For me I’ve always lived a pretty good life. No struggles, naturally gifted in many ways. Here’s the thing though, I always felt like I needed more. This is easily described in Buddhism as the four noble truths. 1. There is suffering. 2. The origin of suffering is desire. 3. There is a way to stop desire. 4.To stop desire follow the 8 fold path. Even in Christianity Jesus talks about desire and greed. “Watch out! Be on your guard of all kinds of greed; life does not consist in an abundance of possessions” Luke 12:15

A wonderful Journey That Never Has To End

With this being said we’ve figured out that we’ve been chasing the wrong thing this entire time. As I’ve mentioned before, spirituality is the thing that fills the void. I’ve had a lot and felt empty and I have had little and I felt full. There are many ways to feed your spiritual being and it is up to you to figure out how. There are many wonderful enlightening ways to go about this. So many wonderful journeys to take. The coolest thing about this journey is that it never has to end.

Recovering addict,
John

I Feel Like Something Is Missing

I Feel Like something Is Missing

So my life is really good today. I’m still living at the Da Vinci Home with Angie and an amazing group of women here, I have a great job that I actually enjoy going to, and I have a wonderful boyfriend who loves me dearly… Yet I still feel alone and empty. Everything is going great in my life right now, and I should be enjoying it, but only to a certain extent. I still just can’t help but feel like something is missing. There’s a lot of work to do on myself which is probably a big part of my void. I’ve been clean and sober for almost 7 months now and still haven’t started my step work. I guess part of it is that I’m just scared of what I’m going to find out about myself.

Visiting Family

I went to NJ for Christmas to my sister’s house to spend the week there. We hadn’t seen each other in over 2 years. It was so exciting seeing her and my neices and nephew. We had a really great time together and I honestly can’t wait to do it again! I have lost so much of my family. I never had a Dad growing up, my mom died at the very young age of 51 when I was just 27, my Grandma who I was extremely close to passed away a few years ago, my aunt and uncle who I used to be very close with, along with my cousins choose not to be associated with me due to my addiction, as well as my only son Shawn. So my only family is my sister and her children, which is fine. I love them very much and they are all very proud of how well I’m doing today and how far I’ve come.

Some Relationships Are Better Than Others

My relationship with my sister is probably better today than it’s ever been and I am so grateful! I know it’s about time to start some serious work on myself with the help from my sponsor. I do know one thing for sure, I’m right where I belong today! My life is far from perfect, but it’s perfect for me right now. I’m gonna try some step work soon, so hang tight and I’ll let ya know how that works out for me! To be continued…..
Me, Myself, & I, Jen
More Stories…https://davincihomellc.com/not-every-day-good-something-good-every-day/

Self Sabotage

Self Sabotage

Self sabotage means to deliberately obstruct or destroy something. And that something has been anything I ever cared about while active in my addiction.  Okay, so I don’t know about you, but I often obsess over the negative. Even when life seems to be going PRETTY FREAKING GREAT.  I mean really, it’s more like ESPECIALLY when things are going great.  So, let the sabotage begin.

Seeking Validation

When I’m feeling insecure I’ll seek validation through anyone, and through anything. And usually 10 times out of 10 I will wind up feeling horrible about these actions and it results in more misery and self hatred. Why is valuing ourselves so hard?!  I think it’s because we absolutely do not want to look inside.  For so long we avoided what was wrong or lacking inside ourselves by using in active addiction.  But really, it’s so easy to rattle off 10 things that you don’t like about yourself, am I rite? Lets change it up though. What’s one thing you love about you? You deserve to love yourself. What thought would be your most thought about thought? Imagine you switched that up and became obsessed with your every little success. Yassss girl – boy – human – alien, you amazing, creative, beautiful, abundant creature. LOVE YO SELF 💘

Sam

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Finding Myself In Recovery

Monday, October 23, 2017

Finding Myself

So this is my second blog since I’ve been here and many changes have taken place. People have come and gone, people have relapsed, have gone back to detox, and so many different personalities in the house. I feel like at this point I’m still trying to “find myself.” I’m working a part time job at Dollar Tree which I enjoy, but don’t really want to be here long term. I’m still looking for my ideal job, something that I can stay at long term. Realistically I don’t think that will happen for a while. Only because I don’t feel like my mind is right yet. After using drugs and alcohol for such a long time it will take some time for me to feel “normal” again. I seem to forget things very often and I have trouble remembering.

Having People That Are There For Me

Angie, here at DaVinci has been really amazing. She’s been dealing with so much in and outside of the house, and has been so patient with me being behind on my rent. I pay what I can when I get paid and hopefully will be working another job soon so that I can get caught up with my back rent still owed. Through this all, I know that she’s always here for me which is a feeling I haven’t felt in such a long time.

No Instant Stability

Having a stable job I think rarely happens right away when you first get clean and sober. I’ve gone through two already, and on my third job now. Which means there were some gaps that I was out of work completely until I found something else.

My Best Interest

I did finally get a sponsor after about 6 weeks being here. She’s a wonderful woman and has been giving me assignments periodically. I’ve done some writing and have been reading over the steps thoroughly. Starting to write about the steps has been a scary thought to me. As I read them, I get a lot of memories and thoughts in my head. Some that I don’t want to remember let alone write about. I know it’s obviously in my best interest to start. I will let you know how the process goes in my next blog! That’s all for now.
Just Me, Myself, & I Jen