Resident Blogs

Release The Ball And Chain In Recovery

The spiritual, emotional and physical Ball and Chain of addiction can be broken with work.  The other day several of us went to the beach all though it was windy it was a great time. There were so many times in my past drinking and watching people having fun spending a day with their loved ones.  All the while I was stuck with a ball and chain attached to my every thought.  Additionally physically being so sick.

Different From Others

I would say over and over what’s wrong with me? Why can’t I be like others . So at one point I decided to get some help.  I decided to admit myself into detox.   When I was released I went to a halfway house where other woman were trying to get their lives back. That was a few years ago, and because I did not take suggestions or really give it my all, I would find my self doing the same thing.

Miracles Happen

I have seen miracles happen to other woman, as well as myself because of a twelve step program.  I have also seen someone who gives their all to find peace, happiness and the blessings that are given to them.  They have received these gifts for just doing the next right thing and working their program.

A Different Way Of Thinking

I am not saying that is always easy.  The gifts of recovery are achievable by changing negative thoughts into positive ones.  By helping others and staying grateful that you have become a better person.  That living is no longer a spiritual, emotional or physical ball and chain, but rather a life that you never thought could be possible.  A life beyond your wildest dreams, a fourth dimension if you will.

~Anonymous

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A Call Too Close For Comfort

I had a close call this weekend, too close for comfort.  It unfortunately was the day of my Grandfather’s funeral and emotions were raw.  It started on the drive there.

Easier With Alcohol?

I was on my way to not only say goodbye to grandpa but to face a huge family of varying personalities some of which were not positive on the subject of myself. ” Facing the crowd would be easier with a little alcohol” my mind was telling me in a static filled voice.  As the ride progressed the voice became quite clear “Alcohol would definitely make this funeral bearable!”

Making The Right Call

As my grip on the steering wheel tightened my heart started to race with contemplation.  Traffic blurred as I realized I was not in a good place.  The thoughts streaming through my head repeating “Alcohol”.  I eased my grip and reached for the phone to call my sponsor. In the past I would not make such a phone call because I did not want to be stopped, I would want to drink; I’d want that alcohol without a doubt.  Something was different that day. I can’t put my finger on it but that is not important.  What IS important is that I did the right thing and called my sponsor.  Needless to say I did not drink and I survived the assembly of people at the funeral.

I Needed It!

Bad Intentions

No Hiding The Truth

There Are Always Consequences

A Sigh Of Relief

Payment Plans In Recovery

Recovery has been a sort of payment plan in becoming a better person every day.  Every day is a gift!  The biggest is waking up clean and not having to depend on any substance to be a productive member of society.  I am so beyond grateful for my life today.

Life Continues

So, I lost my license three years ago because of mistakes that I have made and didn’t commit to paying the court fines I owed because I was living dirty. A few months ago I started working a second job so that I can save up to get my license back. I had no idea of the new program they were offering to be able to set up a payment plan on your license, get a clearance letter so you can get your license back that day. Anyways, I started saving up the money.  Then I got hit with a letter for child support and had to put my license to the side because they were originally proposing an order for over six hundred dollars. I went to court last month and my child support was dropped to $275 a month.  That was a blessing in itself.

Payment Plans To Right Wrongs

So I set the goal to go get my license back. Since I’ve started thinking about it I have been very patient. I knew that everything happens in right time as long as I keep doing the next right thing. I had to go to both court houses today, and I set up a payment plan.  Then it was time for the Department of Motor Vehicles. But I walked out of that DMV with an official Florida State license, which I worked so hard for.

It Comes At The Right Time

Blessings of recovery vary from even the smallest things to the big things. The amount of gratitude I carry in my heart is overbearing. I knew that the patience and hard work would pay off. And it’s all coming at the right time.  You can say I’ve got a couple of different payment plans going on today; my recovery and recompense for my past mistakes.   I’m proud of myself today.  My name is Lauren and I’m an addict. I have been Clean eleven and a half months.

Grateful recovering addict, Lauren

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Where My Loyalties Lie

In recovery, I rarely question where my loyalties lie. They lie with my loved ones, my family, my support group, my friends, my employer. I can say I am a woman of integrity today. But there come times when I am forced to face hard truths. Just because I am not speaking a lie out loud doesn’t mean that I’m not withholding pertinent information from people, and by people I mean those who actually give a shit about me.

Loyalty To Myself

Sometimes I forget that my loyalties need to lie with myself too. I can’t throw myself in front of a bus to protect someone else. And recently I have found myself in a situation reflecting that. As okay as I might have been at the moment it doesn’t mean that it isn’t risky.

Human In My Recovery

When you love someone and they relapse you’re typically faced with two options: stick by their side or cut them off, the old fight or flight. When I found myself in that position it was easy for me to justify the fact that it is not my story to share.  Simply because I didn’t want to face the judgement from those around me. But, the truth is everything always come out in the wash and I get to points in my recovery that I forget that. And that doesn’t mean I don’t have recovery, it means that I am human.

I am not perfect.  But today I have the willingness to learn from my mistakes.  And with that willingness growth can and will continue.

~Samantha

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God Made Other Plans

God is a large part of my life, so I spent seven months in a faith-based recovery program.  This program was very strict and it gave me exactly what I needed at that time of my life. I was able to build a fellowship, work on the 12 steps and learn how to live sober. Although I wasn’t quite ready to leave but it seems God made other plans for me.

My Relapse

I wasn’t paying much attention to my recovery; I stopped calling my sponsor, stopped going to meetings and I was working way too many hours. It was a Sunday night and I had worked all day. I was off the next day on Monday, and I can’t even recall how everything happened but the next thing I know I’m at a friend’s house and we’re drinking. Someone suggested getting drugs and it was over from there. I went into a blackout and I overdosed, and woke up in the hospital on Wednesday. At that point I knew I had lost everything once again.

Grace Of God In A New Home

Two days later I was released and a friend told me about The Da Vinci Home. By the grace of God I was welcomed in. The very next day I showed up and wow, the ladies were having coffee on the front porch. There was a beautiful dog and a pig in the backyard. I was so happy to be there. The fort first week or so I was allowing my thoughts to tell me I was a major letdown and I did not deserve the help of these ladies or a bed in this house. One afternoon I just broke down and let my feelings come out in a good cry.

Doing Things Different

Angie was very supportive and assured me I was safe and at home. I started feeling much better after our conversation and started looking for work, getting to meetings, I found a sponsor and I’m now working on my first step. I’m doing things a little different this time. And so far I really love this new fellowship. I’m having a hard time finding a job but I have faith God has the perfect job waiting for me. This is my very first blog and I hope the next one is much better.

Love, Virginia

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