Category: Uncategorized

Grateful And Receptive

I’m Nikki I’m an addict Today I have 187 days clean. What is better than spreading hope?  On Easter Sunday I went to the rehab I was at 2 years ago and brought a meeting.  That was a great experience and I’m grateful I get to do these service commitments today.  The people were so grateful & receptive to our stories.

Spreading Hope

This was the first time I ever shared my story besides with my sponsor. Rehab is where my journey started, that’s why I enjoy bringing a meeting there and giving them hope. A little over 6 months ago I was where they are right now.  Therefore I know that if I was able to change my life around, they can do it too.  And I believe spreading the message provides the hope they need because it did for me.

Ready For The Challenge

I have been looking into schools and decided I am ready to go back.  More importantly, I am ready for the challenge.  After some research I have decided to go into engineering.  Going back to school is so exciting, especially the opportunities it will open up for me.  I know I can do it but I also have that fear of failure. So today I’m going to go check out some schools and see what it’s going to take for me to get this going and get myself enrolled. Trust your struggle; the best is yet to come.

 Finding Balance

I’m Nikki, I’m an addict. Today i have 226 days clean. I’m having a hard time finding my balance between work, family, my service commitments, meetings, step work, friends, family, spending time with my girlfriend and my me time.  The past month I’ve had some struggles I lost a job and then got another one.  My Dad was diagnosed with cancer, and I’m fucking scared.  My dad has always been my rock and has always been by my side through this journey.  I feel like I’m constantly going all day everyday and its exhausting both mentally and physically.

Hope For Treatment

I’ve been having symptoms of my hep c and its taking a toll on my body. I’m in the process of getting treatment.  In about a week I’m going to go get blood work and then I’ll be able to start taking the treatment medication. I’m so excited to get treated and I’m so grateful I found this clinic that does provides treatment for free.

Able To Help Today

My dad got diagnosed and hasn’t been feeling well lately.  I’ve been helping him out on my days off.  I’m grateful for being able to be there for him today clean and sober.

Spreading The Message

I remember when I first got clean, I always had to go go go.  However, now I enjoy being by myself because I’m comfortable with myself today and most of all I love myself today. I usually balance everything well, however I committed to more service commitments this past month.  I’m almost done with step six, I’m the alternate GSR of my home group, a member of PR, I go to detox and share my story once a month, and I really enjoy doing that because that’s where my journey started. I love doing service work it’s giving back what was freely giving to me and saved my life. That’s where I heard the message of Narcotics Anonymous.

From Struggle Comes Strength

Therefore, I’m working on my balance.  Today I’m relaxing all day and taking an easy. I’m grateful for the the struggles because from struggle comes strength.  I know too my higher power wouldn’t give me anything I couldn’t handle.

A grateful recovering addict,  Nikki

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Happy Destiny

So I’m nearly a year into recovery.  I’ve been trudging the road to a happy destiny using 12 step programs.  I’ve even connected with my Higher Power.  All is well.  Don’t get me wrong.  But a few months ago something changed.

Exploring Buddha

My sponsor started watching a Netflix show about Siddhartha Buddha.  She said it was kind of corny but told his entire life.  She loved it so much that I decided to give it a gander.  And I loved it.  I was immediately drawn into this world I’d known very little about before.  Suddenly the life of Buddha as he grew into a man, and made his way of life much more meaningful and approachable.

Similarity of Principles

After I finished the miniseries, I spoke with my sponsor about how similar some of the Buddhist principles are to the Steps.  We decided to look into Buddhism and the 12 steps as sort of a pet project.  Little did we know… we were onto Something!

New Discovery

We found a book by a man who has worked his program with the addition of Buddhism.  His writing style makes no mystery that he is One of Us.  The next logical step was…. making a meeting of our new discovery.

Creating Meeting Format

A small group of us met up for several weeks… practicing meditation, playing with a Buddhist singing bowl, sampling incense, reading and discussing topics from our book.   Finally we managed to hammer out a workable format.  SO EXCITING!!!

Dharma At The Docks

My sponsor took our format to the board of directors for a local 12 step club.  And they agreed that we can hold our meetings there once a week.  I am completely over the moon that our Dharma at the Docks now has a home.

Magic In My Life

I never set out to revolutionize how the 12 Steps are done.  I certainly never thought to become religious.  But somehow the addition of Buddhist principles to the spiritual principles of the Anonymous programs seems to have worked some magic in my life.  I feel more centered and at ease in my own skin than I have in years.  It is apparent to me to be part of my road to a happy destiny.  Thanks Higher Power for bringing things together so that I may grow.

Healing Through Suggestions

I’m Nikki and I’m an addict. Today I have 240 days clean. My sponsor and I just went over my sixth step together.  She suggested I do a relationship step 4 again. Which I’m glad she did because I learned a lot, and now that I’m aware I don’t have to make those mistakes again and instead learn from it.

Broken Heart

I realized that I started dating this girl, acting out on character defects, because I wasn’t over my ex. My ex broke my heart so it was a way to get back at her. In the long run I hurt myself, the girl I was with and my ex. I didn’t mean to hurt anyone but I did by acting out.

Abandonment Hurts

There’s something missing inside me and I fill this void with women. This stems back to my mother and how she abandoned me. I still haven’t forgiven her for what she did to me. So I keep praying about it and hopefully my higher power will remove that from me, since I can’t do it myself, and I can grow from this whole experience.

Working The Fifth Tradition

This past Saturday I had a sponsor family get together. That was awesome. It was at my grand sponsors house. I’m so blessed to have such an amazing group of women by my side through this journey. We went over the fifth tradition. Every time we get together we go over a tradition and answer questions together.  So, I’m working my steps and my traditions. I’ve wanted to work the traditions, so its awesome I’m working them with my sponsor family. That’s where I’m at right now in my recovery. Everyday I get better. Trust your Struggle; The best is yet to come.

More and More

My name is Lauren and I am an addict. I have been clean just about eleven months. For me, Recovery is number one In my life right now because whatever I put before it I will lose. I know I speak a lot on gratitude but everyday that passes there’s more and more to be grateful for.

A Young Man In The Making

I’m grateful for my relationship with my son today. I am able to be a real mom and spend time with him, teach him things and raise him to be a well mannered young man. Right now he’s having some health issues and we have had to go back and forth to the doctors, and I’m able to be there for him at the doctors.

Beautiful Relationships

I’m grateful for my support group and my sponsor. I have never felt closer with a group of females in my life. If I need someone to talk to, my sponsor Is always there.  And if I can’t reach her, I have a network of woman that actually care and take time out of there day to talk to me. I cannot explain the amount of gratitude I hold for such beautiful relationships.

Road to Success

I’m also grateful that I have a job. Seems like now a days it’s hard for some to find a job, and I have been at my job for almost three years now. Sometimes it’s hard for me to appreciate my job because all of the stress.  But I have to look for the positive in everything, and the fact that I even have a job.  There are so many reasons to be grateful and I would not trade my life for anything.  My gratitude just keeps going.

Grateful recovering addict, Lauren

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